a not so simple thought

image from here

some days i feel as though i have lived a thousand lives in one. this statement has be on loop in my head for the past few weeks. i look at periods of time in my life (my physical location, mental state, interests, relationships, etc) and it seems like they are separate lives. so different yet, as a person, i somehow have remained the same. it's a bit hard to explain but it's almost as if i am watching, behind my own eyes, a series of documentaries that have a common theme but entirely different plots. maybe it's because i feel detached from my "last life" in austin or because this city feels like a different planet. it's something very peculiar and very interesting that has me thinking of crazy time/space/dream theories. i better stop.

a quote

this could be my favorite quote of all time... it only seems right to share it :-)

"and the day came

when the risk to remain tight in a bud
was more painful
than the risk it took
to blossom."


-Anaïs Nin

those wide open spaces

there comes a day, about once a month where i shed a small tear because of how much i miss my spunky southern state and everything it means to me. i miss the weather, the food, being able to confidently stretch both your arms out to the sides and have a spin without crashing into a skyscraper or worse yet - a disgruntled new yorker. mostly though, i miss the people. both the everyday strangers you interact with in passing and obviously my dear friends.

i spent four years 1,589 miles away from the only home i had ever known and never felt as from texas as i feel now.

new york is great, but it's hard...there's comfort in knowing the lone star state isn't going anywhere soon. i can always go home.

it's up to you, new york, new york...

photo from here

so much has changed since the last post. maybe it's because i have literally been all over the place (texas, europe and now new york) or maybe it's because i feel less need to write or have an online presence now that i am actually, employed. that's right. the period of time i feared the most has come and gone with only minor pockets of chaos along the way.

i got a dream job in the dream city, a beautiful apartment and a wonderful roommate. did i mention new york? though the city is hard and the job can be challenging, i wake up in the morning feeling - no not like p.diddy - but so grateful for what i have - it's almost obnoxious.

i have been meaning to update the blog, but just couldn't find the time. so this is a commitment to getting my thoughts down and using my blog as a filing cabinet for my thoughts and adventures. this is also a hope that all of my wonderful and amazing friends, who i no longer see on a daily basis, will read this and feel like they are still a part of my life - because i so desperately still want to be a part of theirs.

exams and more exams...

just trying to get through these last two weeks - academically speaking. (emotionally - it may not be possible!) something to keep me connected:

this is my life this week - oh and every week. (thanks to here)

le bibliotheq...

the homestretch. four years in the making. next week will be the last official week of attending classes. this weekend i am focusing on what seems to be frivolous studying and homeworking and when a friend asked me to meet her at the library, it diverted my thoughts and efforts. my reply was "i don't do libraries"and while that's entirely true (i hardly ever found myself in a library during my college tenure) i wondered why. i think they're drab and boring and instead of studying, i seem to focus on others and their study habits. i then realized that in order for me to be attracted to a library it would have to have something else. i think back to the library in Beauty and the Beast and felt intrigued - maybe it needs to seem magical. this in turn, lead to some research and below are some of the most beautiful and enchanting libraries in the world.

Beauty and the Beast (the inspiration)
from here

The rest are my favorites from this lovely website:

George Peabody Library in Baltimore


Handelingenkamer Tweede Kamer Der Staten-Generaal Den Haag, Netherlands


Real Gabinete Portugues De Leitura in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil
*sidenote: this is absolutely incredible


Trinity College Library in Dublin


Library of the Benedictine Monastery of Admont in Austria

Austrian National Library in Vienna

although these beautiful book-buildings would attract me, in the end i think my inner disney princess would emerge and there would be little time for studying. my imagination would run wild in such places.

the forty acres...

here it is. officially one MONTH before i walk across that stage. it's sad. really sad. i have really fallen in love with this place. in times of both bliss and emptiness, i feel honored to have attended such a great school and it will always be tucked in a very special corner of my heart. this is what i get to see as i walk through this place for one last month. enjoy and hook 'em.

The Forty Acres asYou've Never Seen It - photos taken by Blake Justice for The Alcalde Magazine.

let me eat cake

the closer i get to graduating, the more i begin to freak out. becoming an adult scares me more than most. maybe i'm immature, but i just value seeing life through the eyes of a child. things are exciting and happiness is measured in moments and days and not goals, deadlines and lifetimes. i am a firm believer that happiness comes from within, but the more you have to worry about, the easier it is to forget that. these days i'm a brat, stomping my feet, not accepting the reality of time passing. you can never be a child, but you can remember what it was like to see everyday as a a blessing, as an adventure. this is me and my cake, on my first birthday. i hope that a simple cake will bring me joy for the next 100 years like it did for that first year.

The Desiderata

my great uncle don, wise and all-knowing, sent me and my lissa this poem my sophomore year at school. he told me to print it, put it next to my bed and read it every day. it is in fact taped to my wall beside my bed and i try my best to read it everyday. it is indeed the source of the blog's title. the past year has been full of ups and downs and i can not think of anything that guides me more both in tumultuous and joyous times. this is the excerpt from don. print it. set it next to the bed. read it every day.

You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

in the noisy confusion of life. keep peace with your soul.

keep peace with your soul.

and so it begins.

Whether it's because many professors, mentors and other influential people have suggested it or because I felt it would be extremely cathartic, I have - albeit with hesitation - decided to start a blog. There is no theme and no real point (which is precisely my fear) and I think that the only thing worse than having a terribly boring blog would be not attempting to have a blog at all. At a crossroads where my inner child is desperately trying to fend off the adult knocking at the door, I feel this journey is better shared and meant to be remembered.